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When going for the Big O, try to be in the moment and focus on your arousal instead of the end result. Go to your local sex store or buy online, and try out a few samples.

A few recommendations: Babe Lube, Blossom Organics, and Pjur. If shopping in person for sex toys is intimidating, visit or another online store that has a lot of information, resources, and customer-service reps available via chat or on the phone. A few recommendations: (1) Womanizer Pro, which provides a combo of vibration and suction, has been a best seller at Babeland since it arrived last fall—it's tough to look at the tool and understand what it's capable of, but it's rocked my clit stim world.

Give yourself permission to think about whatever you have to think about to get off.

survey found that 47 percent of women reported using erotica or pornography to step up their sexual experiences.

Erika Lust, Tristan Taormino, and Candida Royalle also put out ethically produced porn. Most women need 20 to 30 minutes of consistent clitoral stimulation to climax. But if you're on the drier side, there are solutions.

In everyday life, women are multitaskers—we like to tick items off our to-do lists. If you haven't found a lube that feels good, you haven't found the right one.

Right now, I'm into, the sexy brainchild of Bree Mills, which features 100 percent girl-on-girl-only pornography.

Until the bodysex workshop, I thought I'd had sex in every imaginable position.

(Except DP, my Holy Grail of carnal conquests.) Dodson had a few new-to-me tricks, including the almighty Pillow Fuck.

Like got all Nancy Drew in your business and explored every fold, crease, and flap?

Pulled back the clitoral hood and revealed that marvelous magic-making bead?

When my mother died two years later, I bought my first vibrator, which got me off faster than Johnny Gill's "Rub You the Right Way" (aptly a top hit at the time).


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