You work up your courage to disclose your status to people you're interested in, and after a series of them seeming polite but disinterested in dating, you finally meet a guy who expresses interest.You date for a while, and get to the point where the clothes come off.I've also heard stories from intersex people whose genitals are visibly atypical about how a partner lost interest in them when the clothes came off because they didn't see the kind of "hermaphrodite" genitals they'd dreamt of, with a big penis and a vagina (a configuration almost unheard of in real life, but popular in pornographic fantasy).It's depressing to find out your date wasn't really interested in Here's another unfortunate scenario: a person is having infertility problems, so they visit some doctors.That means that people may not find out about their intersex status until quite late in life.While the experiences of late-recognized intersex people are different from those of intersex folks diagnosed in infancy, they are not "less" intersex, and have to deal with physical and psychological ramifications for which they need support.Intersex people face pressure from doctors and families and society at large to genderconform.Facing the opposite pressure to gendertransgress--subversivism-- is just as unfair.
Encountering an intersex person with an ordinary and "boring" masculine or feminine gender identity who doesn't look at all androgynous, these activists express puzzlement and disappointment--and in private, speculate that the person must have some minor, mild intersex condition, so they are not "intersex enough" to be insightful.
You probably have sick fantasies or think saying you're intersex will give you an excuse to gender transition without controversy." The non-intersex person is accusing the intersex individual of being a non-intersex person exploiting intersex individuals, which is pretty ironic.
As noted above, many intersex conditions aren't obviously visible in external genitalia.
What disturbs me about incidents in which a partner seems interested in dating an intersex person until the clothes come off is that it generally reveals that the partner was fetishizing the intersex person--only interested in them for their "exotic" body.
In the situation described here, the boyfriend wanted to have sex with someone who looked genitally intermediate generally.
Imagine this situation: you were born with intermediate genitalia but surgically assigned male at birth.