I have had a conversation with the new guy, and he is understanding and patient – but I also don’t want to keep him hanging on. But I applaud you for getting out there instead of pining away for a guy who demonstrated his lack of integrity by going straight into the arms of your friend. And then, when it comes time to step things up, they bail because they weren’t “really” ready to be committed for life. These are not bad people; they are driven by their emotions and are doing the best they can.
Is it POSSIBLE that you determine after a week, a month, or a year, that you were on the rebound and misjudged things? Is it POSSIBLE that he IS the one and you’d never know it as “just friends”? But it would be hard for him to make you happy unless you let him. But to get chivalry, my Mom gave up attraction, humor, respect, and financial stability. You can be with a nice guy who also has opinions, makes decisions, and makes you feel feminine. My serious partner of 5 years broke up with me two years ago for another woman, which left me in incredible aguish.and assumed if he texts back, he still has feelings for me. It's a cliché, but fresh air really does clear your head. Take at least two hours from each day just to leave your Cave of Forgotten Dreams and interact with The Outside. Hang out with people that appreciate you and remind you of what a good person you are. When's the last time you really filled up your tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a glass (bottle) of wine? It's almost reverse-narcissistic to blame yourself that much!